The New Orleans Saints didn't get what they asked for for Christmas this year, as they've been eliminated from playoff contention and have, overall, put together a crummy season in 2024. Clearly, if the Saints were Santa Claus, things would be a lot different for the team right now.
First and foremost, they wouldn't be already out of the playoff picture and they'd have their next Drew Brees taking snaps and leading the team to victory. Secondly, they'd find a head coach who could help them reach their goals, whether that's Darren Rizzi or someone from outside of the organization. The Saints as Santa would also want to step in and make life more miserable for their division rivals.
Let's look at what decisions Santa would make if the Saints were Kris Kringle or if he happened to be a Saints fan.
More Saints news:
Atlanta Falcons: Stuck with Kirk Cousins and his contract
The biggest drama in the division recently hasn't involved the Saints (thankfully) and has been all about the Falcons' quarterback conundrum. Atlanta signed Kirk Cousins to a ridiculous contract in the offseason and at the time, everyone knew it was a stupid decision. Cousins, who wasn't even a great quarterback to begin with, was entering his age-36 season and coming off an Achilles injury.
That still didn't stop the Falcons from inking him to his silly four-year, $180 million contract though. Lo and behold, it hasn't worked out. The Falcons benched Cousins following the Falcons' close victory over the Raiders in Week 15 and that paved the way for Michael Penix Jr. to make his NFL debut, where he threw for 202 yards and an interception.
The rumor is that Atlanta is going to cut Cousins this offseason but if the Saints were Santa Claus, that'd ensure that doesn't happen. The Falcons would be on the hook for the rest of Cousins' contract and have to keep him on the roster. They don't necessarily have to play him but just being responsible for the rest of that contract would be torture enough for the Falcons and that's good enough for Saints Santa.
Carolina Panthers: Continue to have losing seasons
There were several directions that Saints Santa could go in when it comes to what to gift the Panthers with but let's go with them forever having losing seasons. Sure, we could do that to everyone in the division so that the Saints are always winning the NFC South but where's the fun in listing the same thing for every team?
Believe it or not the Panthers were once a proud franchise that put together winning seasons but that has not been the case since David Tepper bought the team in 2018. Since Tepper took over the team in the summer of 2018, the Panthers have not had a winning season and that's how things are going to stay in this Saints Santa Claus universe.
Before Tepper bought the team, the Panthers were consistently winning the division and even went to the Super Bowl in the 2015 season. They lost to the Broncos but Cam Newton still won MVP that year and it felt like the team was trending in the right direction. In this scenario, the Panthers are never heading in the right direction. Merry Christmas, Panthers fans!
Tampa Bay Buccaneers: Stop winning division titles
Remember when the Tampa Bay Buccaneers were an incompetent franchise? It was a simpler time, wasn't it? Unfortunately, the Buccaneers have been a well-run organization in recent years and that's not fun for Saints fans to admit.
Not only do the Buccaneers have a Super Bowl championship under their belt in the last half decade but they've also been on a tear in the division, winning three NFC South titles and actually making a splash when they do get into the postseason. If Santa was a Saints fan, he'd stop that from happening. The Buccaneers would not continue winning the NFC South and it'd take away one more threat for the Saints.
In a perfect world, the Buccaneers go back to being the irrelevant team that they had been for so long but we'll start with taking their easiest path to the playoffs away. It's not as if the division is good enough that multiple teams get in anyway so why not just make it so that the Buccaneers win enough games to get their hopes up but not enough to do any damage with?