Ophiuchus To Blame For New Orleans Saints Loss To Seattle Seahawks

With all the craziness earlier this week over this realignment of zodiac signs, and the Saints’ penchant for experiencing “out of this world” bad luck, I decided to research a connection between the two.

Lo and behold, a connection did exist…at least in my mind.

Astronomers claimed that a tilt of the Earth’s axis caused the ancient Babylonian dates for the zodiac to be out of sync.

And since we have given credence to the zodiac signs as a determinate of our personality traits for many years, surely this occurrence would throw our behaviors out of wack, right?

In the case of New Orleans safety, Roman Harper, this couldn’t be more truthful. Before the Saints met the Seahawks in their Wildcard matchup, Harper was having a pretty good year, stat-wise: 3 sacks (2nd most, career), 8 passes defended (tied for 2nd most, career), an interception (not much, but still 2nd most, career), and 6 forced fumbles (most by far, career).

But you see, Roman was born on December 11th. In previous years, that made him a Sagittarius. “Sagittarius males are ambitious by nature and big time dreamers. Not only do they dream but persistently try to achieve them, overseeing the hurdles in their pursuit” (per some astrological book I just looked up).

Sounds like a winner, right?

Well, with this new (“new” used loosely) zodiac crap, Roman was transitioning to an Ophiuchus, the latest piece of bad juju to afflict our team.

After being straight embarrassed by Seattle tight end’s John Carlson and Cameron Morrah, Harper didn’t come off as ambitious at all, and I’m blaming Ophiuchus for his terrible play in that game.

Here’s my reasoning…

The negative traits for the Ophiuchus male goes as follows (and I’m using the negative traits cause it’s my story and it reinforces my current belief…so there!):

–Have trouble with monogamous relationships: He fell in love with the raucous Seattle fan base and straight bailed on us to please them.

–Can be the jealous type: He didn’t like that Malcolm Jenkins was getting all the attention on defense.

–Can be restless and irresponsible: CLEARLY!

–Procrastinate as a rule: In his mind, he could always make up for his mistakes on the next one.

– Are sarcastic and have a dry sense of humor. After the truly magical season last year, he thought a funny contrast would be to lose to a 7-9 team in the Playoffs, even though we outmatched them greatly.

So, regardless of having to play with RB’s we picked up earlier that week, playing in Seattle (which is still BULLSHIT), Devery’s bad habit of forgetting what his hands are for, and Porter’s facial (literally) on the Lynch run, we lost that game cause Roman Harper is an Ophiuchus now…which might as well be spelled “Oh-F#%@-Us!”

Check out Keith Null’s weekly article about the Saints on NFL.com by clicking here.

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