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Who Dat Dish: Weekly Pick’em! (Week 12)

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Nov 10, 2013; Phoenix, AZ, USA; Arizona Cardinals quarterback Carson Palmer (3) celebrates with teammates after throwing a touchdown pass to wide receiver Andre Roberts (not pictured) during the second half against the Houston Texans at University of Phoenix Stadium. Mandatory Credit: Kevin Jairaj-USA TODAY Sports

Thoughts from Hispandrix

NO@ATL: At least this week, you can go directly to my Keys to the Game!

NYJ@BAL: I’m not even going to give analysis here, just the carousel of the Jets Win/Loss/Win/Loss means they are supposed to win here, even despite the fact the Ravens figured that giving Ray Rice the ball was a good thing. I just think the Ravens have to win. Geno Smith had a terrible week, and was chased.

PIT@CLE: I’d have to make you a cartography model of the tie breakers that exists between all three of the 4-6 teams in the AFC North. These are two of them (Ravens the other). We had Ben Roethlisberger go crazy last week, ending as one of the best quarterbacks of Week 11. The Browns tumbled to the rival Bengals, being blown up 41-20. It was the Bengals defense that did them in, not Andy Dalton and company. The Browns have a chance here, as the Dawg Pound will sure to be rocking out. They beat the Steelers 20-14 last season, forcing 8 turnovers, but that was Charlie Batch. I like the Steelers to keep on the path to winning.

TB@DET: Tampa has signs of life, as they’ve won two in a row, beating the Dolphins & rival Falcons. The Lions are coming off a shocking 37-27 loss to the Steelers, but luckily it did not hurt their NFC North lead. At this point, their isn’t enough from Mike Glennon & company I’d buy to put confidence in the Bucs escaping with another upset victory. The Lions are 3-1 at home, and someone still has to attempt to defend against Megatron. Lions.

MIN@GB: Christian Ponder vs. Scott Tolzien. How could you not get excited? In actuality, Tolzien has done a pretty decent job filling in for the injured Aaron Rodgers/Seneca Wallace. Suddenly, the Vikings are staring at the bottom of the barrel in the NFC. The fact this game is in Green Bay doesn’t play out so well for the Vikings, as they are 0-5 on the road this season. I like the Pack to win. They need to win too, as they are going to need a ton of help to even sneak in as a Wild Card right now.

JAC@HOU: Surely the Texans won’t lose their 10th straight game to the Jaguars? Or, will they? Who would have thought Wade Phillips would end up ruining another Texas team? Sweet irony. Texans. But, if the Jags find a way to hand the Texans their 10th straight loss, look for Houston to turn into a mass hysteria of rioting.

SD@KC: We’re about to find out what the Chiefs are made of, finding out how they respond to the loss against the Broncos. The Broncos have their hands full this week, playing against the Patriots at Gilette Stadium, so the Chiefs could easily hop back up on top the AFC with a win, and a Denver loss. The Chiefs have home field advantage going for them for Philip Rivers and company, as they are one of the six team that haven’t lost at home yet. Along with the Patriots, the pressure is on them to keep the streak alive this week. As for the Chargers, losers of their last 3 games, they need this game to even stay on life support for the AFC Wild Card race, however, I don’t see it happening.

CAR@MIA: I’m not saying don’t count the Dolphins out, but the Panthers are clearly the superior team here with that seven game winning streak. But, that’s also what I thought when they Dolphins played the Chargers & Bengals, that they were the superior team. Hell, even when I picked the Dolphins, they lose to the Bucs & Bills. At least I got the Patriots right. All that being said. It’s meaningless. In theory, I pick the Panthers, the Dolphins win, and if I would do the unthinkable to pick the Dolphins to win, the Panthers will win. Panthers.

CHI@STL: A lot more intriguing that one would think. The Rams have played decent against good teams. They blew out the Colts most recently 38-8, and who could forget their 38-13 beat down of the Texans. Who honestly knows what will happen here, but the good news for the Rams is that they face a Bears defense who just made Ray Rice look like a running back again. However, Josh McCown has the Bears 2-0, and the Bears have won four in a row over the Rams since 2006. You know what useless stats equals? Nothing. Bears win.

IND@ARI: Call me crazy, but this is my upset pick. Arizona is a case of the strange, as they are one 49ers loss (assuming they win) to gain the last NFC Wild Card Playoff spot. The Cardinals face their 3rd straight AFC South opponent (yay for the schedule makers). They’re tough to play out in the desert (4-1), and in each of their last three games/victories, they’ve scored 27 points in each. The Colts have been really off after beating Peyton Manning at home. Yes, they’re 2-1 since then, but they beat the Texans & Titans by 6 points combined, and then they had the embarrassing loss at home to the Rams. I’m on the Cardinals this week.

TEN@OAK: Believe it or not, this is the #8 & #9 teams in the AFC playing each other. At 4-6, these two will battle it out on the West Coast. The Titans suffered close losses to the Jaguars & Colts, while the Raiders just walked in to Houston to beat them, with Matt McGloin!? Scranton’s pride from Penn State finished with three touchdown passes, and no interceptions in the win. Who the hell actually knows how this pans out, I seriously hate using logic on anything with picks these days. Raiders.

DAL@NYG: Dallas has had a week to put past the nationally televised blowout suffered at the hands of the Saints. Jerry World continues to be the #1 Drama in the NFL, with coaching rumors swelling that Jason Garrett would not be canned despite the 26-24 record. All they have to do now is play the red-hot Giants, winners of their last four. The Giants still have a legitimate chance to win the NFC East, and a Dallas beating could happen easily. Dallas is also 1-4 on the road this season, so this will add to those woes, and it’s not even December.

DEN@NE: Arguably the matchup of the week, as Peyton Manning gets to play on Sunday Night Football, again. Has that ever happened before? With this being another Manning-Brady duel, but 13 years later (Manning came in 1998, Brady 2000), does this keep as much hype? At any rate, the Patriots found out again what it was like to lose a game because of a penalty (oh Karma, you’re so hilarious). The Broncos, who I picked last week to beat the Chiefs, did exactly what we figured would happen. The only real point you could make for the Broncos is that their point totals are starting to decrease, but their defense is also playing better. The Pats are that other team with a lot of pressure on, as they are a perfect 5-0 at home. Screwed out of a victory against the Jets, they went on to beat the Dolphins, and beat the poop out of the Steelers. This trend suggests that it could work to the favor of the Pats. I’ll take the latter & side with the Minutemen.

SF@WSH: Yawn. Maybe the 49ers will actually sport what resembles an offense this week, or maybe they’ll just blow stuff up. Maybe the Redskins will play like a real team, or maybe RGIII will just look horrid again. There’s also that tiny matter of the Redskins being 28th in the league in yards allowed, with 3,899 given up. So, in theory, the 49ers should at least be able to crack 200 total yards for the first time in a month, when they played Jacksonville. Yup, quite sad. I like the 49ers here, regardless of any RGIII/HTTR Mania that still exists at this point in time.

BYE: Bills, Bengals, Eagles, Seahawks