ALERT! ALL VIKING FANS, DO NOT READ THIS SPELL, IT CAN CAUSE YOU TO THINK ABOUT VOODOO! SUBLIMINAL MESSAGES CONTAINED WITHIN …READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!
Deep in the swamp from atop a zombie’s grave site,
Where the dead walk with the living I come here tonight,
I boil up and conjure in my big magic pot,
A spell to make sure the Vikings win they cannot,
I call on Papa Legba and Mother Marie Laveau,
To give me your blessing and let the Voodoo power flow,
I add into my pot some hair off Adrian Peterson’s head,
Now his legs will not be able to outrun even the dead,
I put in some road kill all rotting and all full of lice,
Now no matter how he tries Harvin’s day wont be nice,
I mixed in some bat wings and crushed monkey knees,
This will keep Jared Allen from getting to Brees,
Now I been ponderin on dis and ponderin on dat,
And all I can tell ya is Ponder will be on his back,
Our pass rush will have him and his passes falling to the ground,
Those that do not will be because Porter was around,
These Vikings bleed purple and that’s what they say,
So purple it is and they will bleed it all day,
Oh Papa Legba I offer up my talisman and charms,
I need you to add extra magic to Drew Brees’s arm,
Your favorite team this Sunday will come marching in,
Bless Vilma and the defense to help our Saints win,
This spell is now cast for our beloved Black and Gold,
The New Orleans Saints will now go back to the Super Bowl!
Gris Gris Man, Voodoo Surgeon General
VOODOO SURGEON GENERAL’S WARNING:
Any and all Spells & hexes are performed specifically for the sole purpose
of generating an “L” for the opposing team! This includes but is not limited to, fumbles, penalties, in completions, pick 6’s, missed field goals, strips, trips, bungles, gaffs, brain farts, Come on Man’s, or otherwise benign occurrences.
PETA Disclaimer: No curses were used and no animals were hurt to bad or killed excessively in the making and or casting of this spell!